There's an aspect of any path that men in general and myself in particular are loath to face. Often when we feel we are ready to move ahead, we sputter to a halt. Our resolve takes a turn and and the clear path ahead grows ever more obscure by the mists of our own confusion Our God stops talking to us and we doubt he ever did. and the words of men become meaningless gibberish. "When your not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you've sinned." Lenard Cohen (R.I.P,..... R.I.P) This time in every man's life has been called "The dark night of the soul." It comes and comes again. I honestly do not know if it ever stops coming, But it seems to be inherent in all spiritual progress, in gaining strength. A time when each man must, in his darkest hours, stand suddenly totally alone and is without aid or help of any kind. They say "everyone has a plan...until they get hit." To which I would add, everyone talks about God when he no longer speaks to us. When our spirit falters, when doubt blindsides us and we hit the canvas. we come face to face with the Fear that protected us as young ones in a dangerous world. The fear that said go no further! The one clear truth in this night is that we know, even when we cannot face it, that what we do in this darkest and simultaneously most sacred moment will make or break us for years to come. We have been confronted and must act when at our most fragmented and in our weakest hour We are starring into the abyss and now "IT" is taring back. We came looking for the God of favors, dancing children "Light foot boys and s sweet lisped maidens" We came in need in hope of gain. But we do not find that God. The God we find demands sacrifice. The mind empties. One by one precious things that might so be sacrificed stand alone within our desperate minds, one by one until in horror "Oh my God "he" wants everything, he wants to take everything from me!! Everything that is me!! To fail in this moment condemns us to falling away from our path just when we hoped to advance. But if we were to grow we each in our own gut wrenching way had to find a way forward, a way past the fear standing between ourselves and our duty to fulfill ourselves and grow beyond ourselves. The dark night only passes in one of two ways both are known to all who seek. We are thrown off the mountain! We flee for our very lives! When we reach the valley we can no longer say what frighted us so.... But we are tried and so sleep for awhile and so forget about God for a while. Mercy, a true mercy. But there is another possible out come, We can reach forth and pull our strength and destiny from the mists and take "A walk on the wild side." We can throw our world away as the trash we made up to hide in from our sacrifice. and Take a walk with our God No child can do this. No man does this the first time. No man can stay very long on the mountain top.We are always returned to where we belong . it's well to bear in mind in discussing these matter that "One man's celling is another man's floor." (Paul Simon) Men perceive and deal with these issues on many levels, from the fighter in the ring, to the warrior on the battlefield to the scientist in his lab to monk in his seclusion. Men most often experience this in a secession of levels of understanding. Each forming the basis for the next step forward. 10,000 times. To learn anything, 10,000 times. That's true of muscle memory, physical strength in a given motion of the body. With so many repetitions we naturally want to speed things up. As they say, fools rush in.":O} The first lesson of strength is that strength bides it's time. "Waiting means putting the brakes on strength." If your not restraining yourself, your not waiting, your being held back .Any young woman can explain the difference. When she says "Wait" she's saying "Don't make me hold you back! Restrain yourself!!" Strength does not blindly push ahead without regard to the time. Strength does not rush ahead having learned that "slow is smooth, smooth is fast." Slow greatly lessens the number and gravity of our mistakes. Fewer mistakes faster progress with less effort. So slow is right on time. Once we are right on time we can move forward in leap and bounds... We put our feet once more upon the mountain pass. Each cycle, each time we come here seeking to rise above our selves to pass beyond our hopes and fears and tears: each time we renew our efforts the mists of confusion are found a little higher up the mountain and we retain a little more strength to face loneliness that says we have sinned. For many years we grow strong in this way. Slow progress is progress none the less! 10000 time we lose our inner treasures. but things upon the mountain have been slowly changing. Now the strength of doing must become the strength of restraint. Having learned to go slowly to go fast, we must now learn to stop. To rise above. WE must gain a new strength built upon our old strength. The strength to wait. To wait without preconception. To wait just to see what will come. For a long time nothing comes and we flee the mountain. "10,000 time you lose your treasurers and must climb the nine hills. Do not go in search of them when the time of upheaval has past you will get them back again without having to go and look for them. " I Ching The last thing that strength can teach us is that all strength is limited in itself and in what it can accomplish. It can take you up the mountain and it can for a time sustain you there, but it cannot get us to the other side of the mountain that stands between you and our creator. When we are upon the mountain to go beyond the mountain we must completely realize that we are "In god's hands." Seeing this we flee many times. But this is not wasted effort. This is a seeking that returns to us many times before we are found and cross over the mountain pass...."In god's hands...lonely no more. In love "We must be fearless." ( The Nevil Brothers") https://www.google.com/search?q=Neil Brother, fearles#q=Neville Brothers, fearless Grow strong my brothers and sisters, then put your strength aside, that a greater strength might welcome you. ""For That's the way God planned it that's the way he meant it to be." Peace out.":O}
One of the things I've noticed as I've gotten older is that strength knows itself. It doesn't have to proclaim its existence; it knows it exists, and others instinctively recognize and respond to its presence. It also recognizes that it is impossible to be strong in all things and so is content to step aside where its presence offers no value, secure in the knowledge that when it is needed, it will be called upon again. Does that make sense? Reading back through this, it seems kindof circular, but it's the best way I can explain.
To punish Chris for speaking his truth so that all might see and gain in understanding from his experience I've increased my verbiage in my first post. See? It's true, no good deed goes unpunished. ":O}
