Update

[Daniel~]

Saw my Doc this week...he's going to recommend a pain specialist, probably take a few weeks... if I"m approved.
These days one must be approved by a political/medical board for long term narcotic usage.

The whole situation around pain meds has been made totally crazy by the greed of government and medical corporations..

The pharma-cons are pushing their new pain drugs in ways you would not believe.
They have the feds and state government mandating that doctors HAVE to try their highly addictive

(Many times more addicting than the opioids!)

designer drugs...Drugs Time magazine has said are responsible for the worst drug epidemic this country has ever seem.

The new "wisdom" is that first you HAVE to try the pharma-cons totally crappy and useless meds that come with side effects that had me wishing I could just have my pain back!

Man has been using opium for at lest 5000 years. It is a completely known commodity
. I've been addicted to opium derived meds twice in my life
(Legally for medical reasons).

I had ZERO discomfort coming off the Morphine and a half dozen others. Once my pain had diminished.

I had Zoster. When you have Zoster they give you anything you want.... Anything..
their big worry is that you don't blow your brains out...and if they don't catch it in time and get you on the meds to CURE it...

You will.
you'll eat a gun rather than be burnt alive as your nerves literately fry. If left nun-medicated Your skin peals off just like a 3rd degree burn
. I was one of the lucky ones... I survived!

had a lump on my back the size of a cup saucier with a couple dozen holes that weeped as my nerves freaking melted!

I hate the narcotic side effects. But they are nothing at all compared to the carp drugs I had to take before they would give me what I know works.

Don't get sick in America! If you insist on getting sick pray it's a disease that sports a high profit margin in the curing of it.

 

[booman]

Holy crap, you have really suffered Daniel! I'm sorry your pain can't be managed properly with the right drugs. I don't know how you and your wife do it...
I've been praying for you off and on the last 4 years. I will continue praying of course! Nothing better than the hand-of-God to comfort your mind, body and soul. You have been through hell and shouldn't have to do it alone.

 

[ThunderRd]

Wow. I did some reading today, and that Zoster is frightening.

Do I understand correctly that Zoster is a recurrence of the chicken pox virus, and since we can't get chicken pox twice, it can somehow come back as this?

 

[Daniel~]

Your thoughts and prayers are most very welcome!
Yes TR Zoster is a mutation of the Chicken pox virus. It remains in your system your entire life. (Chicken pox does).
I'm not sure why but the stats are scary...I "Think" it's like one in four who had C. P. will get zoster.

The trick is once you get it, be very very lucky and have it properly diagnosed RIGHT AWAY!

Time is everything with Zoster. Sometimes the beginning is completely silent, no symptoms until it's time to shop exit strategies. Once Zoster takes hold...you don't want to be around for the finish.

I was just so lucky! I went to emergency in the middle of the night and got just by luck a young Doc who had just spent time in studying this horror. He was shooting me up almost before I knew why.

He set up an appointment with a pain specialist
And a week later I was given the keys to the narcotics kingdom....OH that sounds so much better than it was and is! LOL

He told me HE would see me though it. Not to worry about addiction HE would get back out of it.
I'm here today because he was as good as his word.

Except that I took myself off the pain meds...The pain was greatly lessening,
(after a round a year)
while the pain drugs were taking more and more of my life from me...So I just started cutting back. In two weeks I was free of the pain drugs that saved my life.
I experienced no discomfort "Coming down." I didn't let myself. If I hurt I took a little and waited to hurt again. The time between withdrawal pains grew steadily longer.

Life is indeed strange is it not?

What's going on now is that unlike what I was told 15 years ago when all this transpired , Zoster never completely goes away...I've experienced everything from minor but painful electric jolts in my elbows and forearms as well as in my shoulder blades...

To attacks that REALLY had me thinking I had gotten Zoster all over again. The difference being is that I didn't need treatment beyond pain meds.

Zoster destroys nerves, killing and permanently damaging many of them...This is the source ofthe post Zoster pain of survivors. AND why it has people jumping out of windows

What would anyone do when told that the unendurable agony they are experiencing is never going to get better, never going to go away, it's yours for life...Did you see the pictures of the end game TR?

Let me tell you the Internet was no friend to me on the day!

That's the Zoster element, which I'm pretty much on top of as far as getting by without meds.
It's nice that the meds take care of that for me, but not why I'll be seeing a pain specialist.

I have ZERO pulse in either of my ankles! Yikes! LOL

The major artery from my heart to my legs has a 6 inch run that's completely blocked...hence almost zero circulation to my legs. This in turn is casing me a fair bit of pain from my groin to my knees, the feet just itch like hell...So Ice the shit out of them and they back off for and hour or three.

The groin pain is interesting as it first felt like testicle pain, literately like my left nut was being crushed..but only a little LOL

When I mustered the courage to really check out what was hurting, my nuts were fine!

(All praise to the Gods of reproduction and joy!!)

I discovered that it wasn't my testicle but a tendon or ligament deep in my pelvis, producing a very similar pain.

(Who knew there WAS a similar pain!)

I'm told that this is not a progressive thing. The damage is done. But more damage is not necessarily on the way...just pain and hell pain waits for us all...We do well to prepare ourselves as best we might to greet it.

Do not fear your pain. It can not harm you!

It only speaks to us of harm already done to us.

It begs of us to back off and let things heal, and punishes us if we ignore the wisdom of pain.
It is a part of you....in every part of you. Pain can serve us well if we let it. My pain hurts and I don't like that very much! LOL

But it also reminds me that I don't own me!
I cannot of myself make so much as my finger nail to grow!
I can not even change the color of my hair or skin!!
I am NOT in charge of this body...I just ride in it.

"Butterfly"

"I was born a particle
of dust.
upon the wind
drifting
coming into the gift of light.
reflecting,
I thought myself
luminous

Wind born.
night
out of the light
passing
I am
reclaimed
by dusty nature.

once I bore the light
upon my
Earthy back
and thought
myself
strong as wind

Having
carried the light
now know
I was born a particle of dust.
and so
to shine.
DKE

Dig it... I go to bed healthy and by morning I was in the fight of and for my life!
We caught it just hours after the first symptoms and I fought for a solid year to see a pain free sunrise.
And I have!
I've since seen many days completely free of pain.
God be with those who...were not shown such mercy.

 

[booman]

I love your attitude Daniel! When the trials come its hard to "see the light" at the end of the tunnel, but its there. Some people never see it. You endured day by day, and hour by hour... Physical pain is hell to endure but you stuck-it-out and get to reap the blessings. I know prayers were part of your blessings. Never give up!
I'm very encouraged just having you back with us at GamersOnLinux. I didn't even know what to pray for in the year of silence, but I prayed anyways because God knows what do to.
So great to have you back Daniel.
I don't even know how to typed all of that with your hand pain?
Are you using voice recognition?

 

[Daniel~]

The pain isn't constant Boo, it' comes and goes...That's where the fun part comes in! LOL

It's good to be back.
But for clarification... My Zoster was caught early.
Had it been stopped, as with so many others, at a later stage of it's destruction...
I'm the first guy out that window!
I've got better things to do! LOL

 

[Gizmo]

The pain isn't constant Boo, it' comes and goes...That's where the fun part comes in! LOL

People look at me strange sometimes when I say this, but I believe the most valuable thing I got out of the Army was the knowledge that there are limits to all things, particularly the body. Specifically:

"There is nothing that can happen to my body that doesn't have to stop eventually."

'Stop' can mean a lot of things; I can endure until the event itself comes to an end of it's own accord; I can do something to bring it to an end; I can die. There are potentially lots of ways to stop it. As a consequence, pain is not something that controls me the way it used to. I acknowledge it, I heed its warnings that I am exceeding the design specifications of my meat machine, but it's a DECISION, not a REACTION.

It sounds like you came to a similar place a long time ago, Daniel. I'm sorry that you've had to go through such an ordeal, but you've definitely got the right attitude.

 

[booman]

Wow, I can't imagine... really I can't.
The most pain I have endured is sciatic pain from a pinched nerve in my lower back.
Any time I sat, there was piercing pain down my butt and right leg... ironically what do I do all day? SIT
Advil didn't help
Muscle relaxers didn't help
Stretching didn't help

The only time it didn't hurt was when I was standing or laying down.
The last time I had sciatic pain was for 4 1/2 months straight.

Hang in there dude!

 

[Daniel~]

Wow, I can't imagine... really I can't.
The most pain I have endured is sciatic pain from a pinched nerve in my lower back.
Any time I sat, there was piercing pain down my butt and right leg... ironically what do I do all day? SIT
Advil didn't help
Muscle relaxers didn't help
Stretching didn't help

The only time it didn't hurt was when I was standing or laying down.
The last time I had sciatic pain was for 4 1/2 months straight.

Hang in there dude!

BOO!!
Whatever gave you the idea your pain doesn't count?
That your pain CAN be compared to another's!?

Or that if it could...that would help any of us!!

I paraphrase a Movie about murder in the Modern South
In which the Ghost of a Confederate General whose seen his men all but wiped out
appears from the mist of time to offer this advice and condolence to to Tommy Lee Jones:

"I have in my time been greatly disturbed and upset by the pain and suffering I have witnessed in my fellow men.
But I could not see where adding their suffering to my own would further the world in her progress."

Or as the Dali Lama has informed us:
"We are all on our own now, be careful!!

You don't have to imagine my suffering, what good would it do either of us?
Your compassionate understanding more that suffices.

We may be all in the same row boat, but we all have to tend to different blisters":O}

 

[booman]

We all handle pain differently too. So it helps to talk about it so I know my pain and suffering is minor. You know, taking for granted the blessings you already have.

I'm glad you are sharing your pain because I had no idea how serious it was. It really puts my pain into perspective
I can now pray more specifically and be encouraged that you have made it through the hardest point.