I don't understand why punishing myself seems mandatory most of the time. Was I really that bad to others? Maybe so, but I hope not. We're all capable of cruelty, it would be nice if we can stop being cruel to ourselves. Tall order in my case, but the trouble is that suffering does NOT "lay up those treasures in heaven." Wasn't it Archie Bell and the Drells that sang "lighten up?" Shucks, it was "tighten up," which is great for musicians but I have serious doubts about that policy for life in general.