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Hydrocele. May you never have one!

Discussion in 'Random Nonsense' started by cloasters, Jan 1, 2021.

  1. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    After one becomes an oldus phartus a myriad of maladies may befall you. I got lucky and needed hydrocele repair surgery on the penultimate day of 2020.
    Simply put one of your testicles may swell to an enormous size. Being a Right Thinking American my right one attained a majesty of perhaps five times the normal size over about a year. It was Glorious!

    Need I say this is an unfortunate state of affairs? How privileged I was to experience this flowering of late manhood! One SO looks forward to Mr Surgeon's sharp knife brandished in this part of one's humanity.

    I'm greatly enjoying the denouement. They sent me home with a generous amount of painkillers, a whole five 5mg Oxycodone tablets. For a sliced scrotum and scary removal of material and refolding of Mr Testicle. Who do I sue?

    Could have been far, far worse. Thank you all for your generosity in supplying the surgery for free! The VA is truly a blessing in one's declining years!
  2. Daniel~

    Daniel~ Chief BBS Administrator Staff Member

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    Say if your not going to be using it can I have the swollen misshapen one?
    i here pan frying works a treat.

    Just my way of saying I love you and I'm sorry you had to go through this
    was it horribly painful?

    Sounds like it just might be something that dulls ones smile..
    Oh and hey! You might mention your condition of dating sights women go for this kinda thing
    at lest i think they do!

    Did you remember to ask the surgeon to wash his hands?

    Did anyone complain about old man hygiene? Was you nurse pretty?
    Did you get to take home your bed pan?
    I just have so many question!

    Did you commit some horrible crime to gain you new condition or do our right nuts turn on us just for fun?

    Why don't women ever have this problem, can you catch it from hanging around women to much/

    to e honest. i tried but nothing i can say is quite so funny as a big and a little one that can't get along'

    Get well and stay well and i will have far fewer questions i feel i need to ask!
  3. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your empathy, Daniel! For some reason I had a great majority of male nurses, females only in passing. Maybe that was a good thing? All I know is that when I woke up after the surgery a male nurse was standing on my right side ready with morphine to inject into that right wrist temporary permanent immediate blood stream access doohickey. The sting was strong and I felt different in my right testicle. Two and two thirds injections helped immensely.

    There are many maladies that can befall us after we enter near obsolescence. I still need serious prostate surgery, so it's good that this literal obstacle was removed. Funny, women were not at all interested in such a lopsided ball bag. Quite alright, mistah dick has been only good for pissing for more than ten years. With the aid of thousands of catheters that is. So FAST old so SLOW smart. Sorry to welcome you to my nightmare, but thank you very much for "asking!"

    Ps. Perhaps hanging around too FEW women brought this on?
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2021
  4. Daniel~

    Daniel~ Chief BBS Administrator Staff Member

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    'It's always a woman to blame! ":O}
  5. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    LOL! Not really. Or maybe I wish?
  6. Daniel~

    Daniel~ Chief BBS Administrator Staff Member

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    please keep us a it better informed.if your in difficulties we want to know.
    we are very unlikely to be ale to help. so don't worry about burdening us
    we can can take the weight.

    but you do us a disservice not telling us when we should drag out our prayer rugs
    light incense and gather flowers to see you well again.

    your not alone and you shouldn't pretend you are! ":O}
  7. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for the kind and caring sentiment Dan! As you read, these kind of ailments don't lend themselves to broadcasting. Unfortunately, I read somewhere back a few years that people praying for your recovery or wellness actually make the outcome worse. Counterintuitive, yet so many things are.
  8. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    Your left or right penile accouterment may decide to swell to hitherto unimaginable proportions. It's a bit entertaining at first but the laughs go out the window soon enough. Ttbmk I committed no crime that brought on this punishment. But another feature of getting old is that your past sins come back to haunt you in more detail and sometimes become magnified to their true importance. Maybe this can be manifested physically?
  9. danrok

    danrok Administrator Staff Member

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    So much to look forward to...
    cloasters likes this.
  10. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    Accentuate the positive. Sorry to report the hideous truth about my getting decrepit. But so glorious an experience demands to be "shared." Me so bad.
  11. ThunderRd

    ThunderRd Irreverent Query Chairman Staff Member

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    Wow George, I'm just now seeing this! I sure hope that you're on the mend, because that big nut seems to have affected your hearing as well. Seeing as Madonna has been playing a big role in our recent repartee, shall I send her over to check it? [your hearing, that is, not yer gonad]

    [I can't send Lowell, he's long gone]
  12. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    Madonna This, Madonna That. Her first video and song are memorable for their idiocy. I admit that she had some great songs over the years, but my ears can't recall a single one. So I'm happy to drop her into the memory hole she deserves.

    I'm recovering from the Hydrocele (pronounced "hydroseal") repair surgery. I have serious doubts about how small the recently gigantic garbanzo bean will become. Kinda looks like it'll NEVER shrink to formerly normal size. Let this be a warning to you young man.

    Have PLENTY of sex while you still can. Don't think that has anything to do with sex, but good advice is still good advice.
  13. ThunderRd

    ThunderRd Irreverent Query Chairman Staff Member

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    63 tomorrow.

    I think I'll treat myself to some of the sex stuff you're talking about ;)
  14. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    Happy Birthday and many more happy ones to come! Enjoy!
  15. ThunderRd

    ThunderRd Irreverent Query Chairman Staff Member

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    Thanks, G. Don't move too around fast ;)
  16. Daniel~

    Daniel~ Chief BBS Administrator Staff Member

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    I want to wish you a happy birthday if only a 63 year old man had a better shot at it!
    every year they keep moving the target, keep moving the target until only the young
    can even see it on the horizon.

    But I can also offer some conciliation.
    Next month I'll be 74.One ear gone, one eye half gone, both legs shot, and my shoulder pain wakes me in the night.

    so saying i know this to be true, i have never been this happy, never felt so fulfilled and never want to do any of this again. LOL

    Warning!

    After 65 you don't count the years, the days count you and they never lose track of the count, because it's a countdown you see..";O]
  17. Daniel~

    Daniel~ Chief BBS Administrator Staff Member

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    And just how do they know who got prayed for and who didn't, one might ask.
    Are all prayers equally pleasing to the health gods?

    What If I prayed for you while while courting your grieving wife? Alfie did!

    What if I prayed that no ones prayers would be heard?

    Whtt if I never pray but wanted to screw with bad research claims?
    What if this so called reseach was done on a wing and a prayer? ":O}
  18. ThunderRd

    ThunderRd Irreverent Query Chairman Staff Member

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    Aww, shucks, Dan. Now you've given me something to look forward to ;)

    All kidding aside, I don't feel old yet. Sure, parts of me creak and groan on occasion, but my theory is that having a couple of teenagers in the house keeps me feeling young[ish].
  19. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    I have no answers and no idea if anti-prayer is a good thing. Just sounded delightfully negative at the time. My BAD.
  20. cloasters

    cloasters Well-Known Member

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    "

    This is dead on, never thunk of it like this. Thanks for this statement.

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